TOKES! TOKES! TOKES!

Tokyo’s in all it’s glory and why it’s not the place for me.

 

Those of you who venture out to town after 11:30pm and are roughly under the age of say, 35, and are from – or reside – in Huddersfield will know exactly what this blog post is about. That’s right, Tokyo’s nightclub in Huddersfield; Home of the Twisted Disko and 90’s themed student night.

Student night is on a Wednesday and costs a minor 90p to get in before midnight, Bargain if you ask me! Drinks are also sold at 90’s prices before 12 all of which encourages you to go in the club early. With us being Yorkshire folk, come 11:45pm the queue’s mega long, all eager to get in as late as possible but before 12 in order to avoid having to pay the larger fee of  £1.90 or £2.90 after 2/3.

So you’ve paid your 90p to get in, your pal’s got the first round in and you’re living it up on the dance floor, The DJ is playing some absolute bangers,  lasses are bumping in to you whilst trying shamelessly to grind on some lad they think is fit and lads that aren’t pretending to do doggy style on a lass while she grinds go round shaking hands and fist bumping other lads they barely know and their best mates who they’ve been away from for all of 5 minutes. It’s all good. First bevvy done, next one on the way, You’ve only had to apologise to one person, that your lightweight – already pissed off of two drinks – mate barged past and knocked over because despite only having a couple, they’re so pissed they haven’t got a clue they’ve done it and things are about to get a whole lot better because some geezer in a hat has just opened the stairway to go upstairs. Get in!

People, including you and your mates, file upstairs, (The over 25’s/30’s usually stay downstairs and enjoy the likes of agadoo and mambo no. 5) managing to sort of dance while you walk, occasionally doing a little head nod with a polite smile to people you know but don’t know well enough to stop the whole staircase to talk to, but low and behold the person in front of you does no such thing. They stop and they scream.

“OH MY GOD! AHHHHHHH *squeal* How are you? it’s been soooo long! Who are you with? did you hear about -”

and you get my point. Most of the time they actually never cared to see that person after school, but they’re bevved up and something inside them wants to know alllllll about what they’ve been up to, who they’ve slept with and what gossip they can provide them with. So while all this is going on you’re stuck behind them and before who ever is talking has even said “Oh My God” you’re already shoving past them because it’s tokes and you leave your manners at the door along with your 90 pence.

You’ve made it upstairs, the DJ yet again is playing banging tunes. Before you know it you’re on the stage at the front by the DJ booth, facing the lovely crowd who are hot, sweaty, drunk mess’ and when the lights start flashing you can see everything. And everyone can see you. The photographer is pointing his lens right at you and your mates so throw your arms out and put the biggest most normal looking grin you can muster on your face but lets face it, you’ll deffo’s look like a smack-head on that picture when it gets put on facebook because you weren’t ready, not that you care about that right now…

Time for more drinks, The out of control one who was pissed off of two drinks is shouting shots, and if someone’s shouting shots then shots is what you’re getting! two or three shots go down, you’ve got another beer/voddy and something, what a great night you’re having. Back to the dance floor.

The night continues like this, it’s getting later you’ve been out for three or four cigs, despite not smoking in real life, but that doesn’t matter because you’re smoking like a chimney now!

All in all, it’s been a great night.

 

For most people that’s something like how a night in Tokes goes. Personally I think Tokes is rubbish and if we’re being honest i’m not the only one. Last Wednesday I went out at half 10, had a couple in Lloyds spoons then went to tokes at half 11. I was home for quarter to one. That’s not all me being a kill joy, that’s me not in the environment i was comfortable in, that’s someone poking my head because I have a bald patch due to alopecia, that’s someone throwing a drink all over me, which happens in night clubs yeah, but it wasn’t just a slosh over the edge of the cup, it was the whole cup. That’s me not in the mood for Tokes. I had a good night in the sense that i saw some friends i haven’t seen in a while, which was great because even though i’ve not seen them in ages, i’m still their friend and hopefully they’re still mine, i mean it’s kind of what happens when you have to adult things like work and get yourself from A to B without a ride in mum or dad’s taxi.

I definitely think there’s a 50 year old woman hiding in me somewhere because there’s nothing i love more than sitting with a cuppa and having a good read of a book or watching a documentary on Netflix or writing a book myself. And if i do go out, it’s normally to camel.

Where ever you go and what ever you get up to on you’re nights out, stay safe and have fun! you’re youthful energy won’t be serving you forever, so make the most of what you’ve got while you’ve got it.

 

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