Winter is a time that a lot of people find draining and difficult and the January blues have been out in full force. We all remember how long January 2018 lasted (About 3 years) and we all hoped January didn’t last so long this time around. Seasonal affective disorder is a real thing and it affects most people around the winter months and January is slap bang in the middle of it. You can check out This Post On S.A.D by My Lifelines to tell you a little bit more about it!!
This January however, I’ve felt so positive. Bar the few spouts of feeling down it’s been amazing so far! I’ve hit the gym hard and i’m really enjoying training for the competition in march with my CrossFit friends. I had an amazing weekend in London, and generally I just feel upbeat. But I kind of feel bad for being so happy when other people including my friends are struggling to feel the positive vibes.
I was listening to a song in the car the other day, and it’s a song I absolutely adore called Seasons of Love. The lyrics of the song just resonate with me so much and remind me of something that was read out and discussed at scouts when I younger by a leader I deeply admire, and always will. The Lyrics in S.O.L are something I think about often, and I think they are a lot to do with how positive i’m feeling.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year? – First Verse of the song.
There are Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes in a year. That’s a heck of a lot of minutes for you to use at your leisure. Thats Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes of potential happiness, growth, life experiences, bad experiences and lessons to be learned as well as so, so, so much more. You are the owner of those minutes and while you may not be in control of all Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred of them, you’re sure as hell the boss of a lot of them, so own them, make the most your time. If you need 1140 of those minutes, AKA a day, to keep to yourself , wind-down and shut the world out, do it. If you need 10 minutes to have a quick nap, who’s to tell you it’s a waste of Your time?
When I was younger, in scouts, a leader named Keith (Love you Keith) read a story/teaching that has stuck with me ever since. It’s all about how you ‘spend’ your time, from a different persepective.
‘Imagine that you have a bank account which gives you £86,400 every morning when you wake up. Whatever you don’t use gets taken back. What would you do with the money?’
We discussed, aged 10-14, all the endless possibilities, questions of ‘well can you do this?’ and statements of ‘well i’d buy an xbox’ and the suggestion of charitable donations bounced around the room. we got pretty excited at the what if’s.
‘Each of us have such a bank – it’s name is time. It deposits 86,400 seconds in to your account everyday and every night it writes off what you haven’t spent. what you failed to invest in yourself. It carries over no balance, it allows no overdraft. Each day it renews the balance and there’s no getting round the banks other rule. Your account could be shut down without warning; your life can end at any second. Spend your time wisely, waste not even a second because life is too short.’
Keith read this out during a scout meeting and I spent the night pondering. It has such a valuable teaching, and one we can all take something from even as adults – especially as adults.
Sometimes, we can’t help the way we feel, and that’s okay. It’s okay to spend your time doing something that won’t benefit you the absolute most, and there’ll be occasions in 2019 and the rest of your life where you won’t get to dictate how you spend your time, that’s just part and parcel of life. This year, i’m going to try my hardest to love the highs and embrace the lows, because after all, everything I experience, be it positive OR negative, makes me who I am. And a lot of the negative thing that I have experienced allowed me to appreciate the positive for being a positive when before I may wouldn’t have thought of it that way.
Sometimes you just feel like you just can’t go on, you haven’t got it in you to keep going. I’m really sorry you feel like that, I know it’s tough. I luckily don’t feel like that about life very often, sometimes yes, but not often, and I know it’s absolutely not the same thing but, an awful lot of the time when I work-out at CrossFit I don’t think I can keep going to finish the workout, which makes me feel like such a failure, but I’m not a failure and neither are you.
I know, I know, Crossfit everything, but just hear me out. I was talking with Katy the other week and I was saying thank to her for pushing me to RX the workout (that means do it at athlete level/recommended weight) the workout included 12 reps of the hang power clean movement with 35kg on the bar.
I can clean 35kg but I firmly believed there was no way on earth that I could do it for 12 reps and as many times as possible in the time we had been given which was 12 long ass minutes. We spent a good five minutes deliberating whether or not I was going to do the workout RX or scale it down to 30kg. In the end Katy said “Beth, if I can do it then so can you, You’re much stronger than me. Just give it a go and if you can’t do it drop down the weight”
I’m proud to say that I did it. I absolutely died, and it was so beyond hard but I did it. And afterwards Katy and I were talking about how even though you think you can’t, your body is more capable than you think and there’s a quote from Mat Fraser, (Crossfit games champion) that honestly gets me through a lot of things when you think of it in the relevant context.
Life is too short not to do something because of what if. Go out and get it. bag yourself the job you’ve been dreaming of. Be the winner in your own eyes, not always everyone else’s. Take part. Make yourself proud. You never know where it might lead you or who it might take you to. Think of everything as an opportunity and make the most of it. Take care of yourself and love as you want to be loved. Be happy when there’s nothing in particular to be happy about. Share a smile, they’re contagious. Make someones day. Stay grounded. Always compete to be better than yourself, no one else has your narrative, so create one that you like the sound of and when things go wrong, get back up and show everyone and yourself what you’re made of because you’re made of much, much more than you or anyone else knows.
Now tell me, what are you proud of?
Don’t forget to keep smiling,